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The Canonical list of sexual imagery on the NA covers

constructed by Alden Bates.

This is an example of what happens when you get bored. Obviously the Virgin NAs are a cauldron of smut and depravity, as is demonstrated by the incredible amount of imagery which pops up (hur hur) on the covers. Here's a non-too complete list of said smuttery to prove it.

Genesys:
Phallic symbols: Isthar's head, Gilgamesh's spear
The big hole in the wall is a rather suggestive shape...
Neither of the people on the cover are wearing much.
Exodus:
Phallic symbols: the dagger, the horns on the goat mask
There are some highly questionable symbols on that robe, plus there's a window in the background with a tall rounded shape
Apocalypse:
Phallic symbols: The giant sea monster, Arun's gun, that thing on the prow of the boat.
Arun's not wearing much, but then she's a leper.
Revelation:
Phallic symbols: The church tower, the stubby astronaught
Speculations as to what's going on under those robes is welcome.
Time's Crucible:
Phallic symbols: The giant leech, the cat's tail, those buildings.
is it just me or is Ace directing a sultry look at the reader?
Warhead:
Phallic symbols: More buildings, Ace's Big Gun[tm], the Doctor's holding his umbrella.
Witch Mark:
Phallic symbols: The TARDIS, Unicorn's horn, cat's tail.
the Unicorn halfway through the dolmen [phoar!!]
Isn't that waterfall in the background suggestive?
Nightshade:
Phallic symbols: The radio telescope THRUSTing at the sky! also that, er, nose on the insect monster...
Love and War:
Phallic symbol: The bollock monster, Benny's Big Gun[tm]
The TARDIS under the hoop [phoar! Blatent one that!]
Transit:
Phallic symbols: the TARDIS, the drone's grasping hands
All that transit tunnel needs is a train whooshing into it...
The Highest Science:
Phallic symbols: The Doctor's umbrella again, the Chelonian's Big Guns[tm], the tank turret.
The Pit:
Phallic symbols: the Doctor's lying on his umbrella this time.
The bare-breasted pteradactyl riders [Reeeeally subtle guys...]
Deceit:
Ace is almost sucking that mouth-mike
Lucifer Rising:
Phallic symbol: Ace's gun again, pointed directly at us, long phallic spaceships. The Doctor's taken to hanging around with giant transparent bollocks.
White Darkness:
Don't aim that umbrella at me! Benny and Ace are both holding Big Guns[tm]. The zombie isn't wearing much, so is pretty sexy as decomposing zombies go.
Shadowmind:
Yup, Big Guns[tm] again. And what about those kilns then?
Birthright:
Phallic symbols: The TARDIS, the Charrl, more tall buildings. ...Lots of tall buildings.... tall buildings THRUSTing at the sky...
Iceberg:
The molesting cyberhand [thanks Dave], The TARDIS. [Cybermen have never been this sexy!]
Bloodheat:
Phallic symbols: The TARDIS, there's a spire in the background.
Neither dinosaur nor Silurian have any clothes on.
The Dimension Riders:
Phallic symbols: The Chess pieces, the Doctor's clutching his umbrella again.
Left-Handed Hummingbird:
Phallic symbols: the Doctor's umbrella [clutching it again, dirty bastard]
Pyramids [say-no-more]
Conundrum:
Phallic symbols: The supervillian, Ace's Big Gun[tm], another church spire.
No Future:
Phallic symbols: Most of the people on the cover, Benny's microphone, the guitar(s).
Tragedy Day:
Another NA, another gun.
Legacy:
Phallic symbols: The Ice Warrior's helmet, the sword of Tuburr. why isn't Alpha Centauri on the cover? I wonder if they docked the artist for that faux paus
Theatre of War:
The groping Ace statue.
All-Consuming Fire:
Phallic symbols: The Doctor's umbrella reappears, the tail with the knob on the end, Holmes' gun, and whatever that is draped over the statue's shoulders.
Blood Harvest:
Benny's torch, the whole long corridor imagery thing.
Strange England:
Phallic symbols: The Doctor's clutching his umbrella again. [Put it away]
First Frontier:
Phallic symbols: Ace's gun, the downed saucer, the fifties car, the cactus, the motel sign
Ace's low-cut combat suit [cut?!]
St Anthony's Fire:
Phallic symbols: The lizard men, the umbrella, the TARDIS, more guns, whatever that lizard man is poking into the fire.
Falls the Shadow:
Tanith's low-cut top. Those plants are getting a little _too_ friendly with Benny...
Parasite:
Quite a few balls, and that ape looks iffy, not to mention the squid
Warlock:
Phallic symbols: Ace's gun, the mushroom cloud. Ace's low-cut combat suit again
Set Piece:
Phallic symbols: Ace's dagger, the ant's bits.
Plus we get Ace in a cheerleader's outfit and a pair of pyramids [again!]
Infinite Requiem:
The phallic looking woman, and will someone please take the Doctor's umbrella away before he does himself an injury?
Sanctuary:
The TARDIS, that big bow and sword. What's that big metal thing on the horse behind him?
Human Nature:
Phallic symbols: Another Big Gun[tm]. Firing even.
Original Sin:
Adjudicators in phallic metal suits. No umbrella and no guns, though it's obvious from the Doctor's left hand that he's pining for it.
Sky Pirates!:
Phallic symbols: the Doctor's umbrella, the Sloathe claw.
The womb-like Sloathe ship.
Toy Soldiers:
Phallic symbols: The turret. Possibly also the chimney stack.
Zamper:
Phallic symbols: Those zamper creatures.
Head Games:
The Doctor's Big Gun[tm] [what's that they say about gun sizes?], the TARDIS console [the rotor THRUSTS!]
The Also People:
Phallic spaceships, not to mention the teapot spout.
Shakedown:
Phallic symbols: The Sontaran, the spaceship, there's a rocket in the background for in case you missed the point.
Just War:
Phallic symbols: Flagpoles! Lots of men with Big Guns[tm], building spire, the TARDIS.
Warchild:
Phallic symbols: Now that's a Big Gun[tm].
Sleepy:
Another pyramid. [Gee...]
Death and Diplomacy:
Phallic symbols: Jason's Big Gun[tm], though the robot's got a bigger one, and Jason's looking jealous too.
*** The new cover design premieres, and it looks like silk sheets that someone's been sitting on. ***
Happy Endings:
Phallic symbols: The church tower in the background, but that's fairly well hidden. The Unicorn's horn. Sgloomi...
GodEngine:
Another sword. More Ice Warriers.
Christmas on a Rational Planet:
A TOTEM pole for heaven's sake. [Better than the one we were going to get though]
Return of the Living Dad:
Well, that spaceship does look a little phallic... And the crop circles are pretty suggestive.
The Death of Art:
Womb-like underground place.
Damaged Goods:
If you ignore the phallic intestines, not much.
So Vile a Sin:
Those artists are getting clever at hiding the smut. There are a lot of pointy phallic buildings far in the background of the picture though.
Bad Therapy:
A big SPEAR!
Eternity Weeps:
Well, there's balls in it, plus the moon rover... Really they were reaching here.
The Room with No Doors:
Chris waving two swords. [Dude!] the kinky costume that woman is wearing.
Lungbarrow:
The Doctor clutching his brolly still [oer!] and the minotaur is clutching a rather phallic pole. And that whole attic is just womb-like.
The Dying Days:
Yes, it's men in rubber... And towers in the background. Not to mention Paul "dead sexy" McGann.
Oh No It Isn't!
Wolsey's got a big gun! Not to mention leather.
Dragon's Wrath:
Well, there's a vaguely phallic looking dragon...
Beyond the Sun:
Two people flee from a huge city of... phallic symbols!
Ship of Fools:
It's all organic and wibbling and oooo! And is that rubber Benny's wearing?
Down:
Can you get any more blatant than that dinosaur neck??
Deadfall:
Jason (I'm assuming) brandishes his weapon at two woman in low-cut rubber cat-suits.
Ghost Devices:
Spears and buildings and well, need I say more?
Mean Streets:
Look, just how many times can they use the tall phallic building metaphwoar?
Tempest:
Well... what can I say? That train is about as subtle as Seven of Nine in Voyager
Walking to Babylon:
The guards at the gates of Babylon all have spears, and the animals painted on the walls all have phallic-looking tails.
Oblivion:
Yes, Roz has a Big Gun[tm] There's three suggestive looking candles and a highly questionally shaped leaf at bottom left.
The Medusa Effect:
Blimey! Just look at that enormous thrusting... spaceship out of the windows!
Dry Pilgrimage:
Well, just look at the Saraani's head!
The Sword of Forever:
Well, just look at that. There through that windows. It's the smegging Eiffel tower!
Another Girl, Another Planet:
More phallic buildings, and a really weird spaceship (which could be phallic, I suppose, if the owner had had an accident with a desk drawer...)
Beige Planet Mars:
Yes, there's a phallic boat travelling along a canal... Not to mention phallic buildings in the background.
Where Angels Fear:
Obviously they're not afraid to go around in the nuddy though.
The Mary-Sue Extrusion:
And what's that poking out of the ground?

And so it goes on...

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